Wow. What a journey so far.
I have learnt so much: technique, perseverance, fatigue all rolled into one.
Some days have been delightful. There have been training days where I feel like I've come such a long way. There have also been plenty of the opposite. Those days where you commit, even though you feel like you have nothing left are the most important to me. I feel like I've pushed through a barrier that only I've created through past experiences. By all means, I am not suggesting I have had to overcome harsh circumstances in my life, I've actually been very privileged in my upbringing, however you build your you from your past.
From my years of being in the education sector, I've had the pleasure of meeting and working with lots of little personalities, all from the ages of 5 years old. It is here where you start to mold the world and what it all means.
This has a point, I promise...
Anxiety is an issue in so many of us and it is now recognised and encouraged to be spoken about to help overcome feelings that just make us want to crumble and hide. No matter how big or small, we will all have experienced it at some point in our lives and it is how we change our process of thought to be able to help us step out of our comfort zones and welcome new experiences. Exploring and sharing stories can be the inspiration for someone else to try something new.
I sometimes love the fact that I have so much feeling against trying something, maybe because it has a higher risk of danger or because I might look stupid or that I might get it wrong. When I actually managed to win the argument with the thoughts in my head and almost make myself do it (kicking and screaming), I get a sense of achievement and high satisfaction. I get it on a Sunday when my alarm goes off at 7:30am to get up and swim. I get it when I make all the effort and plans to get out on the bike after I've checked the weather and route for the fifteenth hundred time.
I'm learning. The most important thing so far is the ability to listen to myself and how I choose to respond.